Lonely Hearts Column
not attributed
translated from Haveeru, 12 September 2000
Question:
 am a 19 year old girl and my body doesn't resemble my age. But various men fall in love with me, and I have experienced two love affairs.
My first love began when I was only 13 years old.
This four year relationship came to an end when I discovered my lover was being unfaithful and seeing several other girls, and he had bad habits as well.
My second love affair began during a euphoric time in July 1999.
He was from a different island and apart from an older sister and a brother, other people encouraged this relationship.
And Mum and Dad didn't say anything.
But it lasted only 11 months, and then we had to break up.
He had very particular ways - asking me not to wear certain dresses. But he encouraged and helped me to study.
He advised me to perform religious rituals, and asked me to get on well with the others in the house.
But he totally disapproved of me wearing shorts, and I wasn't to spend too much time outside, and I had to get up early and go to sleep early.
Though he didn't love me at first, now he loves me very much.
He has spent a lot of time in the house over the last two months since we broke up. And he tries to talk to me all the time.
Even though I love him, I don't want to talk because I don't think I can live with him when he is trying to stop me from doing things.
He still wants my love and checks the places I visit and tries to meet me.
But I have told him I am going out with someone else. But things don't change.
I have also told him that I won't go back to him, but he still keeps seeing me.
Now my first boyfriend is also pleading, even though he is carrying on a relationship with a girl from his island.
Would you please tell me the best thing to do?
Is my second boyfriend's love pure and true?
Which of them shall I get back with?
Can I live with my second boyfriend?
Reema
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eema, you have said clearly that the first boyfriend is unfaithful and you have written disapprovingly of his bad habits.
